THREE MUSCLES EVERY SOCIAL WORKER MUST TRAIN

We talk a lot about having skill in social work. But skill without strength is a revolving door to frustration. Not gym strength; the strength to stay present in a tense living room, to keep your voice steady in a heated strategy meeting, to carry hope when the system feels hollow. After 16 years in this profession, I’ve learned that the real work happens in the quiet space between the visits / meetings—where you actually build the muscles that make skill usable.

Let me share some of the 3 muscles I try to exercise;

1) Listening that changes decisions

Early in my career I mistook fast questions for good practice. Now I fight for slow, surgical listening. It helps. It’s the difference between chasing noise and hearing the note that matters. Listen not to respond, but to actually understand.

What does this look like in real life?

• When I used to chair child protection conferences where emotions are high, I used to write three columns in my notes: Fact / Feeling / Future.

• I listen for timelines, not headlines: When did this start? What changed last week? What does “better” look like in 7 days—not 7 months? So so key!

• I reflect back one sentence that everyone can agree on: “We all agree nights are safer at Nana’s; let’s plan around that.”

2) Boundaries that protect purpose

We protect children and we protect our ability to keep protecting children. That means boundaries - time, tone, and tech.

What this looks like in real life

• Time: I dont answer my work phone after work hours. There can be those odd occassions whereby some calls will need to be made after 5pm, but it's important to make sure your service users have the out of hours number.

• Tone: I don’t respond to insults or that angry mother that wants to curse me out for making her child subject to a CP plan, I respond to need: “I won’t engage with name-calling. I will talk about help and safety.”

• Tech: No case discussion in DMs or Text messages that can’t be recorded. If it needs action, it needs a record.

  
  

You’ll be amazed how much conflict dissolves when you replace “no” with clear next steps.

3) Courage with paperwork

Paperwork doesn’t make us social workers; but defensible recording is how we make our decisions stand when memory fades and scrutiny arrives. I always say that if it is not recorded, it DID NOT HAPPEN!

Ps - The way I’m loving Ai and ‘Magic Notes’ have been absolutely amazing recently, especially in safeguarding and QA roles - particularly LADO.

What this looks like in real life

• I use a four-line model after key contacts:

  1. Facts (verbatim, time, who was present)

  2. Analysis (what it means against risk/protective factors)

  3. Decision (threshold + rationale)

  4. Action (who/what/when)

     
     

I always try to remember to write as if a parent, a judge, and a future worker will all read it because they might.

In the end, the true skill of a social worker isn’t flashy. It’s listening that changes decisions, boundaries that protect purpose, and courage on paper. That’s how we last. That’s how families feel the difference.

I’d love to hear from you: Which muscle will you train this week—and what did it change?